Respond. Don't React

Take 1 deep breath before handling conflict. Acknowledge the conflict for what it is, and avoid telling yourself stories that aren't true.

React vs. Respond is meant to be a simple strategy to guide responses to conflict. Am I reacting or responding? While these sound similar, the subtlety is important. Reacting to conflict is driven largely by emotion, responding to conflict is rooted more in logic. Reacting often shuts down the conversation, while responding encourages exploration.

The metaphor by which I handle conflict affects how the conflict resolves. Will it be shut down (a temporary relief from emotional discomfort), or resolved through further conversation and mutual understanding.

The only way to respond to conflict is to be present and mindful for the conversation. Mindfulness is an invaluable tool for identifying and separating emotions from conflict.

Responding to conflict vs reacting to it is a great example of the weight that metaphors bring to mental models. How and what I communicate is a reflection of my values, and this simple model helps me remember that the metaphors people use are often a good reflection of what lens they view the world through.

While taking a deep breath in the moment of conflict often allows me to bypass the ego, the only thing I have found to consistently respond thoughtfully is to practice mindfulness and presence. Daily meditation gives me insight into my emotions, while being present in conversations gives me the focus to respond clearly.